As a child you are always asked who is your favourite superhero.. as an adult every interview i have been to, they ask.. who is your biggest inspiration? I wish they asked you at interview. Who is your favourite superhero? It would bring much more personality out of us. So much more youth. So much more passion. We would be able to enter a place of being comfortable to speak on our dreams, to show our excitement. To paint a more vivid picture of our personality.
The meaning of superhero; a character who has special strength and houses it to do good things and help other people. When we watch superheros, they are fictional characters that save people's lives. My superhero is far from Fictional, but he sure has saved my life.
Today if you ask me who is my superhero. Id have to say my Dad. Around the age of 17 to 18. I started self harming. Now i don't mean cutting or anything like that. What i was doing cut much deeper than that, i was wishing myself dead. I woke up every morning in anger that God hadn't killed me yet, and i went to sleep every single night wishing and praying tonight will be the night, Let me just not wake up ever again. My Jaw was exhausted, from grinding my teeth all day, and even more tired in the morning, so i must have been grinding at night. I repeated negativity to myself about myself every day. Now you wouldn't believe that speaking negatively about yourself, is self harming. But it is! So take a moment out when you find your self speaking about your own self badly, and realise how horrible you feel about yourself in that moment. Then stop!
My Dad went and spoke to the doctor without my knowledge. And explained briefly, what he had observed in me over the past few weeks. Which might i add was not so obvious, I just seemed a little more subdued than before. Coming home and not maintaining long conversations like i normally would. But nothing terrifying. The Doctor himself called me, and asked if i can come in to see him tomorrow. Now if you live in London, especially Newham. You know how hard it is to get a GP appointment even if its an emergency. They will watch your head bleeding open, on the counter and still ask you why are you here?
So i attended this appointment, and the doctor expressed to me how my Dad feels, but i couldn't really see, or feel a difference in myself. So i told the doctor, sometimes my Dad just worries too much. But i was just in denial about how angry i was, and how alone i felt. I started Therapy after a few weeks. And it didn't matter what time i finished that session. My Dad would be at home waiting to understand me, waiting to conversate. After 50 minutes of talking to a professional, He would continue the therapy at home. When you are mentally tired, and physically drained. The last thing you want to do is talk some more. I call him a hero, and i know others would too. But i call him that not only because he took the step himself to bring me back to normality. Without going through these thoughts or feelings himself, but having worked with people of similar thoughts and mentoring many people in his travels. He seeked to understand. And that's all that i could ask anyone for.
He now watches my anger and frustrations with things, and reminds me everyday, of the tools i have acquired to not let those things defeat me. Today I am following on a journey on the other side of depression. If it wasn't for my Dad, pushing me, and pushing me to PRESS ON, who knows if i would have had a chance to share my story today.
Be careful, with dismissing peoples feelings, You don't know what people are going through day to day, week to week, year to year. Pay attention to the people close to you, be careful around those that tell you they are Depressed or suffering depression. Those words are hard enough to admit, and hard enough to have to explain to those that don't know what it feels like. I have been dismissed plenty of times, but family, friends. Because they do not understand. I have been told depression is not real. I have been told I just want attention. I have been asked. You have and had everything, so why are you sad? If only I had the answer to that question.
You, have the power to make someones day easier, better. You don't know when someone has decided today will be there last, and a small gesture of understanding can make that day seem a distance away. Not everyone has a support system or network in place. In this day and age so many people are alone, even when surrounded by people. My Dad made sure he was on that journey with me, and he continues to walk by side. If you can be that person to someone else, it will go a long way!
Think about someone who has helped you, made your day, enhanced your life, brought love, brought joy, brought happiness, brought laughter. And celebrate them. There a real life hero's out there, some go unnoticed, some are called friends, some are called family. Life is real, its not fiction. Spend some time on making a positive impact on other peoples lives, we are not here alone, so the time we spend around others should be spent wisely. I spend time outside of writing, enhancing young peoples skills through sport and physical activity. And through that i am able to connect and engage with the young people personally. Hopefully helping them to understand how to be good people and help others through there skills and experiences whether good or bad. Changing negatives into positive reflections so that they too can be called somebodies hero.
Who is your superhero? Let me know below!
The ART OF BRICK: DC SUPERHEROES.. An exhibition at London South bank. Lego Artist Nathan Sawaya creates large scale sculptures through a series of immersive galleries of the most enduring superheroes and super villans.
MY SUPERHERO... :)